Jason's 笔记本

Time for the great countdown to exams...

Being panicky doesn't really help. Seriously. That's why I decided to go for a birthday gathering yesterday in town. And spend some time with my poor girlfriend whom I feel I am neglecting.

I was talking to one of my friends about how busy we are due to school and he raised an interesting point.

"I always feel lost during the 3 month summer break."

Interesting but true. I have had perpetual deadlines to meet every week for the past two months. Weekends, which should always be the two days of rest & relaxation did not materialize. I can even feel guilty for coming home during the weekends. It also felt strange to be out in town, as though everything was surreal. Even during the gathering, which I feel is a normal and none-too demanding activity, there is always this nagging thought at the back of my mind that prompts otherwise:

"YOU SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR STUDIES!"

And every year, once the term ends, this life style's toll on my mindset really shows. I will become restless, uneasy and lost. Then I start to look for a job, to kill the boredom. Once the break ends, it starts all over ago.

It has been a long time since I felt so uncertain. It does seem that I am reverting back to the dark ages 5 years ago.

I guess throwing oneself into his work should have be a well-thought out decision and not just to chase the common goal. Because once you step into a pile of shit, the stench pretty much lingers.